Category Archives: Relationships

Parenting, romantic and family relationships.

Divorce by Force

In this program I review recent news that the judiciary would like to extend access to the divorce process to the unmarried. I look at the cause of declining rates of marriage and the effects this is having on the divorce industry.

Sources and further reading:

The Telegraph, Top family judge calls for no-fault divorce for all and putting cohabitees on a par with married couples
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/divorce/10796954/Top-family-judge-calls-for-no-fault-divorce-for-all-and-putting-cohabitees-on-a-par-with-married-couples.html
ONS, Marriages in England and Wales (Provisional), 2011
http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/marriages-in-england-and-wales–provisional-/2011/stb-marriages-in-england-and-wales–provisional—2011.html#tab-Marriage-Rates

Talking About Family Law
http://www.talkingaboutfamilylaw.co.uk/judge-speaks-out-on-no-fault-divorce-and-rights-of-unmarried-couples/

The Guardian
Couples should be able to divorce without going to court, says top judge
http://www.theguardian.com/law/2014/apr/29/divorce-consent-handled-registrar-courts

Mail Online, Let couples get quickie divorce at register office and protect unmarried women left on scrapheap, says top family judge
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2616123/Couples-able-divorce-simply-signing-form-says-countrys-family-law-judge.html

BBC, Divorce Reform Act 1969
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12417483

Divorce since 1900
http://www.parliament.uk/business/publications/research/olympic-britain/housing-and-home-life/split-pairs/

Family Law Reform Act 1969
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1969/46

A brief history of divorce
http://www.cflp.co.uk/a-brief-history-of-divorce/

Mail Online, The wife who changed history – by asking for the first divorce
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-508936/The-wife-changed-history–asking-divorce.html

Family breakdown ‘could cost taxpayers £46bn’
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/divorce/10674267/Family-breakdown-could-cost-taxpayers-46bn.html

Living A Life of Integrity

I explain what integrity means and how I choose to live a life of integrity.

For much of my childhood I felt confused around what I and others did and said. I wanted to be comfortable in myself and it was by feeling my feelings, processing my thoughts and then taking actions consistent with them that I found inner peace.

Integrity is essentially an expression of self-love. In contrast hypocrites reject aspects of themselves, whether it be feelings, thoughts or actions, they embrace cognitive dissonance.

Kids Without Dads

I discus the ITV Tonight program “Kids Without Dads”
http://www.itv.com/itvplayer/tonight/series-17/episode-25-kids-without-dads-tonight

With a feminist agenda from the start it succeeds in not examining any likely causes and satisfies itself with plenty of passive aggressive style shaming. Causes such as not wanting to be a father, being stuck with a crazy woman and the many financial incentives women have to encourage them to have children men might not want. But as the title suggests this program was never going to be about absent fathers.

Is there anything good about this program? Yes, as the title suggests this program does give a much needed voice to children who are living without their dads and some of the wider social consequences. Even so the program is carefully crafted around how it presents the emotional content. The children speak with frustration about their grievances and if the program had just done that it would of been acceptable. However single mums also share a variety of emotions from anger to frustration which takes the program off topic while giving no space for absent fathers to share their difficult emotions. All we hear about from men is the ones who still see their children saying how good it is, that it’s a challenge to travel so far for some and from Matt who seems to think he is doing alright. In this way the emotional content of men affected are being edited and minimized in a way that was not applied to the other parties in the situation. Not giving a platform for men as victims is a feminist tactic that dehumanizes men.

It may be that the children, mums and dads got equal air time, but it certainly doesn’t feel like the quality of the time given was fairly balanced. For reasons given above the program is biased in a way that will feel familiar to many men who have been victims and who are not to be heard. Good journalism doesn’t seem to be part of the Tonight program, reason enough to avoid TV and do your bit to cut these kind of media circuses loose.

If you didn’t enjoy this rant, here is some related material:
Typhon Blue on shaming
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM3-8e3RKXA

Stefan Molyneux, Why Men Don’t Want To Get Married
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t6j50Tkwy0

Stefan Molyneux, Friends Are No Substitute For Husbands
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zkvj5ULlzwI
A film review which extensively discusses how various government interventions have fostered single motherhood.

Girl Writes What, Men not marrying?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlvMAS_20K4

Girl Writes What, men have an equal responsibility?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRdq2zqGxgY